Today was a very bad day. I woke up and was so depressed. And if you know me, that's not a common occurrence..
One of my best friends that I've made up here in Logan got arrested and tried to commit suicide in jail. And it's all my fault... I literally could have prevented it. His mother called me during the middle of the night to tell me. And in the morning I realized it wasn't a dream. And on top of that, it hit me that my best friend in the whole wide world is leaving on his mission this summer, so he's not going to be here to hold me when things like this happen. He's not going to be here to kiss me on the forehead, or play music with me, or tell me he loves me.
So, I didn't go to class, I cancelled my speech, I skipped rugby conditioning and instead; ate a bagel, listened to music and cried myself into a coma.
Eventually, Joe came up to Logan and saved me from myself. He made me get out of my bed and he took me to dinner. He didn't pressure me to talk about anything, he was just there. Just there like he'll always be, even when he does leave on his mission.
So today was hell. Sorry that my first post about my actual life was so depressing... Haha. I promise that my life is really fun and I don't always just cry in my bed all day. Tomorrow will be better. Not just for the blog, but with everything. Because like I've said before, everything happens for a reason...
<3-schwab.
Oh Laura, suicide is such a hard thing to deal with. And one day you will realize that it actually wasn't your fault or that you could have prevented it. I don't know the situation, but I had a friend almost commit suicide (and I thought because of me). After 4 years of this haunting me (and many talks from my friend), I've finally come to the realization that it wasn't my fault. In the meantime, good luck. You'll get through this, and so will your friend. It'll be hard for a while. But it's good you have Joe.
ReplyDeleteHey! Just a thought. If everything happens for a reason, which I believe it does, then your friend is supposed to go through this experience. And if you prevented it, you would have robbed him of a potential life-changing lesson. He makes his own choices. YOUR job is to love, support, and encourage the GOOD in him.
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